With yesterday’s capture of Santa’s evil brother, kids around the world are excited at the prospect of an “incident-free” Christmas.
Good Santa has given strict orders to his troops in Iraq to dish out sackfuls of Christmas cheer to as many Iraqi children as possible, whether they want it or not.
“Regardless of their religion,” the man in red told a press conference yesterday, “these poor children need to learn the meaning of Christmas, goddamnit!”
Word is that many of Evil Santa’s rebel elves will continue their campaign of holiday disruption. But there is no doubt that the world is definitely a better place with this bearded menace knocked off his sled.
Evil Santa was last seen bundled in a sack, on his way to the North Pole to face some serious Klaus-Kickin’ justice.
